“And so I hate them.”
“When I count back from five you will slowly wake up and feel completely relaxed. You will feel refreshed, full of energy, and will not remember that we had this session.
Five, your awareness comes back.
Four, your eyes are less heavy.
Three, you know where you are.
Two, you are fully awake.
One, open your eyes.”
And there is this man again. That white coat, ugh, too white. What? Is he like worried?
“So, what did I say? Did I kill them or not?
“We already know that you are involved in their deaths, Miss. The question is why, to what extend, and whether you were aware of what you were doing that night.”
“Well? Tell me!”
The man in white adjusted his glasses. “I can’t. I must confer with your lawyer first.”
“But this is about me, right? Don’t you have to tell me?”
“No, Miss. I was hired by your lawyer to aid as best as I can in your defense. So I must confer with her first.”
“Can I at least like eat something? I don’t know what you did but I’m starving.”
“In the office behind this one is a small refrigerator. Take what you want, Miss.”
“Thank you. He! I’m not handcuffed!”
“Don’t get any funny ideas, Miss.”
I remember that I rubbed my wrists and checked my feet. No shackles either. I stretched in the chair and tried to reach as far as I could with my arms and legs. I imagined being on the rack and the wheels were turning to make me an inch taller.
Someone warned me to be careful. Whoever said that was spot on because I fell. I ended up sideways on a Persian rug. When I looked up I saw my lawyer and the cop who drove me there. She shook her head and he wondered aloud* if he should have cuffed me to that chair! But he was the first to extend his hand and pull me up. “Go get a sandwich and do not make me regret this, Miss.”
The man in white as I call him was nice to me. I managed to stop giggling long enough to crawl back up and say “Yes, sir.” I remember that I skipped to the other room. The fridge was in the corner and I pounced on it. There were small milk bottles in the door, sandwiches, fruits, and some leftover pasta in a plastic container on the shelf. I went for the pasta.
The fresh cold milk tasted so good and I wolfed down the pasta. I dumped the container in the sink and grabbed a sandwich. As quiet as I could, I walked towards the door to eavesdropped. They were still in the room but were slowly walking towards the door.
“So why did you tell her that she would not remember anything after waking up? This will not get us anywhere!” My lawyer sounded loud and mad.
“No, it won’t, ma’am.”
The cop wanted to know why too. The past few weeks were pretty foggy. I went to court every day but most of the time I zoned out and only now and then did I catch something. I do remember seeing people with my high school yearbook. My mom was there too. So were some of my classmates’ parents.
“Ma’am, your client’s psyche is already fragile. I thought it best to discuss what was revealed with you first and then after counseling repeat the hypnosis with expert psychiatric help as immediate follow-up. That is in the best interest of your client. If she remembers now what really happened she will commit suicide.”
Really? Would I kill myself? No way! Do they think I’m stupid? I remember that I was mad at them for thinking I was weak.
I strained to hear my lawyer. She wasn’t loud anymore. “Sandy needs to be told the truth. It will come out in court as soon as her mother takes the stand. I got her on tape. There’s no escaping this.”
The cop shook his head and said “Well, it is time for me to take her back to jail. You two can talk for as long as you like but we are heading back. Sandy, let’s go!”
My legs were frozen. I could not move. I felt like crying and screaming at the same time. I didn’t understand it then.
“Sandy! Don’t make me walk over there.”
“I’m coming.” I know that I quickly took a tissue from a box on the table, wiped my nose, grabbed another sandwich, and walked towards the door.
“Come on, my partner needs to search you.”
I pouted. “But I didn’t take anything, just food!”
“Regulations, Sandy, now let’s go.”
I looked at my lawyer. She was worried. “I’ll be in this afternoon, ok?”
I nodded and I do remember that I turned to thank the man in white. “Thanks for whatever this was. And the food. The pasta is awesome! These sandwiches are pretty good too. You must be rich to have a fridge stuffed with…”
I must have hugged my priced possessions and hurried over to the police officer. I know that a female officer took my elbow and said “Let’s step in here for a minute, ok?”
“It is going to be alright, Sandy” I heard my lawyer say.
I turned, smiled, and said “OK!”
But now I know that I will never be ok.
Reminder: I write flash fiction posts usually within one to two hours after inspiration hits me. I do use the spell checker but then I post it on my blog so yes, you will always find grammar mistakes.
Perfection is not the goal here. This is about showing you where my imagination takes me when I read or see something.
This piece was inspired by this line “She was jealous of them and their good fortune. She was angry with them for moving on without her” on page 215 from Cecelia Ahern’s book “P.S. I love you.”
P.S. 1: thank you to the blogger behind “You ain’t special” for helping me make this section clearer.
P.S. 2: thanks to Stephanie Banks for her tip to specify better who said what in the dialogue parts.