Moving on

“And so I hate them.”

“When I count back from five you will slowly wake up and feel completely relaxed. You will feel refreshed, full of energy, and will not remember that we had this session.

Five, your awareness comes back.

Four, your eyes are less heavy.

Three, you know where you are.

Two, you are fully awake.

One, open your eyes.”

And there is this man again. That white coat, ugh, too white. What? Is he like worried?

“So, what did I say? Did I kill them or not?

“We already know that you are involved in their deaths, Miss. The question is why, to what extend, and whether you were aware of what you were doing that night.”

“Well? Tell me!”

The man in white adjusted his glasses. “I can’t. I must confer with your lawyer first.”

“But this is about me, right? Don’t you have to tell me?”

“No, Miss. I was hired by your lawyer to aid as best as I can in your defense. So I must confer with her first.”

“Can I at least like eat something? I don’t know what you did but I’m starving.”

“In the office behind this one is a small refrigerator. Take what you want, Miss.”

“Thank you. He! I’m not handcuffed!”

“Don’t get any funny ideas, Miss.”

I remember that I rubbed my wrists and checked my feet. No shackles either. I stretched in the chair and tried to reach as far as I could with my arms and legs. I imagined being on the rack and the wheels were turning to make me an inch taller.

Someone warned me to be careful. Whoever said that was spot on because I fell. I ended up sideways on a Persian rug. When I looked up I saw my lawyer and the cop who drove me there. She shook her head and he wondered aloud* if he should have cuffed me to that chair!  But he was the first to extend his hand and pull me up. “Go get a sandwich and do not make me regret this, Miss.”

The man in white as I call him was nice to me. I managed to stop giggling long enough to crawl back up and say “Yes, sir.” I remember that I skipped to the other room. The fridge was in the corner and I pounced on it. There were small milk bottles in the door, sandwiches, fruits, and some leftover pasta in a plastic container on the shelf. I went for the pasta.

The fresh cold milk tasted so good and I wolfed down the pasta. I dumped the container in the sink and grabbed a sandwich. As quiet as I could, I walked towards the door to eavesdropped. They were still in the room but were slowly walking towards the door.

“So why did you tell her that she would not remember anything after waking up? This will not get us anywhere!” My lawyer sounded loud and mad.

“No, it won’t, ma’am.”

The cop wanted to know why too. The past few weeks were pretty foggy. I went to court every day but most of the time I zoned out and only now and then did I catch something. I do remember seeing people with my high school yearbook. My mom was there too. So were some of my classmates’ parents.

“Ma’am, your client’s psyche is already fragile. I thought it best to discuss what was revealed with you first and then after counseling repeat the hypnosis with expert psychiatric help as immediate follow-up. That is in the best interest of your client. If she remembers now what really happened she will commit suicide.”

Really? Would I kill myself? No way! Do they think I’m stupid? I remember that I was mad at them for thinking I was weak.

I strained to hear my lawyer. She wasn’t loud anymore. “Sandy needs to be told the truth. It will come out in court as soon as her mother takes the stand. I got her on tape. There’s no escaping this.”

The cop shook his head and said “Well, it is time for me to take her back to jail. You two can talk for as long as you like but we are heading back. Sandy, let’s go!”

My legs were frozen. I could not move. I felt like crying and screaming at the same time. I didn’t understand it then.

“Sandy! Don’t make me walk over there.”

“I’m coming.” I know that I quickly took a tissue from a box on the table, wiped my nose, grabbed another sandwich, and walked towards the door.

“Come on, my partner needs to search you.”

I pouted. “But I didn’t take anything, just food!”

“Regulations, Sandy, now let’s go.”

I looked at my lawyer. She was worried. “I’ll be in this afternoon, ok?”

I nodded and I do remember that I turned to thank the man in white. “Thanks for whatever this was. And the food. The pasta is awesome! These sandwiches are pretty good too. You must be rich to have a fridge stuffed with…”


I must have hugged my priced possessions and hurried over to the police officer. I know that a female officer took my elbow and said “Let’s step in here for a minute, ok?”

“It is going to be alright, Sandy” I heard my lawyer say.

I turned, smiled, and said “OK!”

But now I know that I will never be ok.


Reminder: I write flash fiction posts usually within one to two hours after inspiration hits me. I do use the spell checker but then I post it on my blog so yes, you will always find grammar mistakes.

Perfection is not the goal here. This is about showing you where my imagination takes me when I read or see something.

This piece was inspired by this line “She was jealous of them and their good fortune. She was angry with them for moving on without her” on page 215 from Cecelia Ahern’s book “P.S. I love you.”


P.S. 1: thank you to the blogger behind “You ain’t special” for helping me make this section clearer.

P.S. 2: thanks to Stephanie Banks for her tip to specify better who said what in the dialogue parts.

33 thoughts on “Moving on

  1. I didn’t have a hard time following the dialogue but I didn’t feel it was clear who the ‘she’ was in the “she was jealous of them”. I thought it was Sandy. When you mentioned the mother later on, it made me wonder a little bit but there was not enough there to let me know that’s who the killer was. Not until I read it in the comments. Nonetheless, I enjoy this. You really get the reader to put in their two cents worth.I like that.


    1. No, that SHE came from the line that inspired the flash fiction. That SHE was the she in Ahern’s book. I just took that line, let my imagination take it away, and write flash fiction based on that. So that SHE is not connected to the story as all.

      Glad you did like the post!


  2. Multiple homicides? Not a bad guess, Alice. But my sources tell me that Sandy and her mother were running a squalid puppy mill and almost all of the puppies were culled “that night” because Sandy “hates” dogs; they are now facing numerous animal cruelty charges, and the mother has cut a deal with the prosecutor to put Sandy alone in the clink.


    1. That is an interesting option, yes. But with this line (“She was jealous of them and their good fortune. She was angry with them for moving on without her.”) as inspiration, I think we are talking humans. Maybe not adults, maybe class mates? Anyway, creepy options galore!


  3. I have a lot of questions now but am thinking Sandy is a nutter and I am not able to feel anything towards any of them like in your other pieces. Maybe its been a long day. Still enjoyed it very much though, as always.


    1. Thanks for reading anyway, Tim. Some pieces speak to you more than others and that is ok. I am still learning so knowing that these characters were most likely too “flat” is good information.


  4. I normally do not read something like this but I really enjoyed it. As you have talked about hypnosis, I have a question, is it really used in investigations? Is is really helpful? Is it possible that a person many not come up with truth?
    I am not sure if you will write more about this story, but it left me thinking what was the crime and what will be the end?

    Thank you for a nice share.


    1. Cops do not hypnotize people, period. Yes, people can suppress memories and retrieve them but whether the courts accept that as evidence? It will need to be corroborated by hard evidence.

      As for the story, it is flash fiction so less than 1000 words often without beginning or ending to leave the reader’s mind free to use their imagination.

      What was the crime? Multiple homicides (“Did I kill them or not?”).

      The end? “Sandy needs to be told the truth. It will come out in court as soon as her mother takes the stand. I got her on tape. There’s no escaping this.” Mom somehow committed these murders and is offering up her own daughter to take the fall for her.

      The verdict? I don’t know. What do you think?


  5. I’ve never heard of flash-fiction. Is that your coined phrase Alice? I also don’t read much fiction. I do like this kind of post because I feel like a have a daily dose of it. And that, is fine for me. I’m not sure if it is me but in the running dialogue I couldn’t stay up with who was saying what. It is likely me. I loved the story of it all! Thanks.


    1. No, it is me. I had trouble with the he said/she said. Flash Fiction means a story in less than 1000 words usually leaving out the beginning and the ending so the reader can use their own imagination to complete the story. It is a great way to try and explain a lot with less words.


    1. Great question. No, but I just taught a class for a writer’s conference where I pointed out mistakes in crime scene/police investigations such as hypnosis during interrogations and licking unknown substances from small plastic baggies. The story came from that one line” “She was jealous of them and their good fortune. She was angry with them for moving on without her.” Of course, the SHE here is the mother who framed her teen daughter Sandy.


  6. Suspenseful… still a few issues with the POV, I think. There is now way that Sandy could “know” the cop was worried. She might think he looks worried, furrowed brow lips tensed or something like that…but she can’t “know”, right? Good bones though!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Awesome! I think it’s clear. The only thing I’d suggest is adding the word “aloud” in this sentence:
    “She shook her head and he wondered (aloud) if he should have cuffed me to that chair!”

    I was slightly confused there for a second. 🙂


    1. Thank you so much for helping! I rewrote that section several times.

      Sandy looks back but also tells the story during the mentioned follow-up therapy sessions.

      I am going to amend that sentence right now. Appreciate you reading!

      Liked by 1 person

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