My Opinionated Man-friend Jason wrote a post about how “women are hard to understand.” He offers in his own customary way a few solutions for men.
I cannot help myself, folks. Here we go:
Jason says that “women want a manly man. They want a guy that can rundown a bull and belt out poetry while fighting bad guys with one hand.” Of course, being a man Jason forgot what we really want: a mind reader! We expect you to know what we want before we said it so you can be pro-active and anticipate our next wish.
Jason says that “women like flashy things” so he found a way to make each moment shine. “I walk around with a pocket full of glitter and will spontaneously shout “PRESTO” while throwing a handful in the air.” Apparently Jason never really did this while in the company of a woman. She would have shot him a look and said “you get this shit out of my hair RIGHT NOW!”
Jason says that “many females like active and athletic men.” Jason, we want men with endurance and stamina to keep up with us. We don’t care how many push-ups you can do. We want to know that you can handle diarrhea diapers, vomit covered PJs, and make chili-con-carne for dinner while looking steaming hot all at the same time! And after dinner of course, we expect a full body massage. Are you still keeping up with us?
My Opinionated Man-friend goes on about women bringing up sex in arguments. Has it occurred to you that it is a hint? Apparently not.
Women are cunning enemies? Of course we are! We love to trap you and watch you weasel your way out. And he forgets the most crucial part: we do remember all your turns and twists and will use them against you at the most inopportune moment. So start taking notes!
No amount of glitter can save you from a clever woman and her cunning brain, Jason.